29 November 2010

End of an era

My days as a stay at home mum will end on Friday this week. I finally got a job, not one that I particularly want and a full time job at that... But it is a job and that is what we need.

I should feel happy, as we will no longer be sliding backwards financially. Instead, I feel devastated. My baby boy is still so little. No more trips to the library with my girl, no more wandering to the book shop or for sushi at lunch with them. No more mothers group catch ups each week, which M and I have been attending for four years. The end.

The beginning of even more guilt. I hate this feeling.

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