19 January 2012

I immersed myself in my girl for the day

Late last week, I had to break the news to her. Her last “big” friend at kindy was finishing up that day. She would be the only remaining big girl for the remainder of that week and this week, the last before school begins. She was heartbroken, and I have to admit, so was I. I stopped outside the kindy gates and my tears fell. The guilt – how was it that every.single.other.child was able to be cared for, outside daycare? All but mine? I was so upset. I cried, mummy tears of guilt.

I made phone calls. I arranged for her to have a special week off before kindy, with different activities and carers each day. Monday, she spent the day with a little girlfriend, her first playdate, a long one. She loved it and from reports, she behaved beautifully. It was the first time I have ever dropped her off for a playdate (I know, I think we’re a bit behind the times!) and it was a good feeling.

Tuesday, I took a day off work and indulged my girl with some very special treats. First, the movies. Alvin and those squeaky little chipmunks. She only cried for about ten minutes of the movie, major improvement! The off to her favourite restaurant for lunch. We followed up with a visit to a craft centre, where she chose a wooden castle and set about painting, glueing and glittering. Then a dolphin for . She was in heaven. So much paint, ribbon, glitter and she could use any of it! She was bursting with happiness!

I immersed myself in her, I watched her and just enjoyed moments with her, concentrated time. During the day, she turned to me, numerous times and told me “I love you, Mum.” She was so thankful to be just the two of us, enjoying experiences that I had planned with just her in mind. Nothing else. At the beginning of our little adventures, I told her I’d love to take lots of photos. In the end, I only took a few, because I was so busy just being with her. She is such a girl now, so wise and so deliberate in her choices.

In just a few days, she begins school. I’m a little anxious. She’s said she’s becoming nervous. That’s OK – I know most of the other kids will be nervous too. I’m pretty sure many other mums are a little anxious too! So it was beautiful to just be with her. My girl.


Michelle said...

Poor little poppet, she will be fine, and so will Mum!

Lauren said...

Good momma! What a milestone this is for both of you!