22 August 2012

I'm scared

Instead of getting up at 5.30am tomorrow morning, I'm getting up at 5am instead. The commute is down to just Fridays, I'm back on the coast. But tomorrow, I'm dragging myself out of bed to get back to the gym. I haven't been for months and I'm scared. I just know how much it's going to hurt and hard it is going to be, physically and mentally.

I just have to start looking after my body again. Working in Brisbane has been so bad for my fitness, exercise has been absolutely non-existant, I've been sitting on my backside for three hours on the train and then on my butt again for the eight hour work day. Crappy food and alcohol has been over the top. I must do somthing about it. I can feel the self hatred bubbling just under the surface and no doubt as the sun begins to warm the days just a little more, those bubbles will burst to the surface.

Plus my pants don't fit. But did I mention I'm scared? It's so hard, exercise. The only type of exercise I can think of that I truly, truly enjoy is dancing. Or was dancing. Oh, I just need to stop analysing it and just do what is best for my health. and that means exercising, and doing it no matter what. I did enjoy it last year, when I was in a routine and just getting up and doing it. Wish me luck.

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