15 March 2013

Limbo land, again

I find myself in limbo, yet again. It was about a year ago that the firm I was working for shut the doors... and I am still waiting to be paid. Now here I am again, just waiting for the day when I am told that my position is no longer required by the company I am now working for.
 
I'd be lying if I said this hasn't affected me, and deeply at that. I know it is not my fault that this is happening to me right now, but at the same time it is difficult to distance myself from the hurt that this situation puts me in. I'm in a personal dilemma. I am in a career that I am not passionate about, but feel I am too old to retrain. I enjoy study but I just do not follow through.

The story of my life. I just don't follow through. With anything much at all.

This situation makes me wonder what we can do, how we can move forward and what is next. Should we move to a bigger place, a city with more opportunity? If so, which city? Do we want to be back in a city? The beach is so important to us, and it is a huge factor in our lifestyle. Moving to the closest, most obvious city (Brisbane) makes the beach at least an hour drive. It takes us even further from my mum, who we don't see enough of as it is, already an hour and a half away. My dad is splitting his time between Thailand and his place south of us, close to a two hour drive away.

And what to do career wise? Upskill? I really don't know. I just want to work steadily in a job that I don't hate! The last six years, since I was pregnant with M, my resume is patchy at best. I'm feeling pretty lost and uncertain at the moment. Hate this feeling.

 
This me, almost eight years ago, Bali. Carefree!

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Its tough to be out of a job but it is tougher still to go to work each day in a job you really dont love. Its soul destroying. Maybe figure out what it is that you do enjoy like working near the beach and see if there is any work available in that area or in the field you enjoy? I think online work is also a good option for people who live remotely. Good luck I hope you find something x