13 December 2013

Life events

I've realised (with a little help) that the last few years have involved some pretty large, stressful events. I thought that I was pretty OK with all this but maybe I've just been brushing my reactions aside. I don't talk about the big stuff much on here but if you read those lists of "most stressful life events", there are a few on there. Losing a job and not being paid for a few months of that job, subsequent unemployment, disappointing limbo land of new jobs, divorce (not mine!), illness and extended family members passing away.

In amongst that, I feel like I have "lost" a very dear friend, someone I used to share so much with. That person has a great deal going on in their life and to add my worries to their pile just feels very wrong. My worries affect them and I just don't feel comfortable leaning on them at all, for any support. At times, when I desperately want to reach out, I don't - because it feels wrong and that closeness has dissipated.

What do you do when you lose a dear, dear friendship? How do you move forward? There are days when it really hurts to think that I won't have that kind of relationship with this dear person again.

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